Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
