So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
