Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
