i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
