You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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