so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
