on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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