So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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