OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
