Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
