Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
