you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
