Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
