So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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