This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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