never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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