that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
