That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
