it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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