Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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