i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
