How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
