Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
