i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
