i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
