they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My legs feel like baby dolphins
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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