She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
