And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
