She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
how drunk are you?
Several
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
