YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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