My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I cut my penus on the lid.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Congratulations! We have a period
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