he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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