I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
