BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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