i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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