Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
