Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
