Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
