If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
