how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
