problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
