We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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