so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
