i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
