i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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