Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
