i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
