i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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