For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The struggles of a small town man whore
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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