He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
